Build a new skill.

Something that I truly believe in but still have not been able to put it to practice fully is this advice- build a new skill.

How you spend each day of your life determines what your life will look like. Thus I feel it is extremely important to upgrade our ownselves by adding new skills to our arsenal.

In the age of internet, these skills don’t even require much financial expenditure. Many online courses are being given for free.

If I tell you my experience in online upskilling then I’ve a government of India certificate in startup basics and am a Google certified digital marketer as well.

You must be thinking all these courses must have cost a lot. But they didn’t, in fact not even a penny. Both these courses are up online and don’t charge a single rupee. The only thing they ask for is a willingness to learn.

All these online courses add up significantly to your CV and give you an edge over others. Don’t go after attaining credentials which everyone has like a college degree, rather invest your time in learning new skills and get certified in that.

Least of us realise the competition we are up against. You may feel you are too good at academics but I can bet there are a millions across the country who are as good as you and are working as hard as you.

Once you understand this, you will know that the only way to survive in the 21st century is constant upskilling.

-ChoubeySahab

Change your default setting.

In every machine or apparatus, there is a default setting. Be it our phone or TV. There is a finding that we rarely change the default setting, because we think that default must be the best so why change it.

It is very much the same with life. There are preset rules, societal norms, expectations and we comply with them without questioning because that’s our default setting.

As an example to understand this better, when I was in school, I complained to my parents that school system isn’t right and I’m struggling badly. As a reply they told me, “everyone is complying with this then what’s wrong with you?” (Even though they did understand it later)

Here again, school system is the default mode of education. Therefore, noone questions it. The few who do are forced to fall back in line or if I can say, forced to reset their settings to default.

But here’s the question we need to think about- Is default the best setting regardless of the changes that are taking place in our society? School system has been the default for almost a couple of centuries now but is it still relevant.

It must be clear by now that following the default setting doesn’t really help. Because unlike smartphone our societal systems don’t get those weekly updates. Then what do we do? Think! What’s the right setting for you and change it manually. Be bold enough to stand by and justify your manual setting to all relevant stakeholders (like parents).

It’s difficult, but totally worth it.

Go change your default setting mann!! Right now.

-ChoubeySahab

Greatest tool of 21st century.

Can you guess what’s the greatest tool one can have in the 21st century? Here’s a hint for you: you own this tool. Still can’t guess? Here’s another hint which will make the answer obvious, you are presently using this tool.

Well, I’m talking about your smartphone. The smartphone is the greatest tool of the 21st century. Essentially it is the world in your hands. You can do amazing things while sitting under the quilt (like writing a blog as I’m doing right now).

If you still can’t understand how amazing this tool is and how lucky we are to be owning this tool. Then you need to know that the smartphone didn’t even exist at the beginning of this century.

The question now is that are we using this tool right? Are we making the most out of our smartphones? No, we clearly aren’t and that’s because websites manipulate us into spending more time on them.

This calls for a self introspection of how we use this greatest tool now and how can we better use it. What websites and apps we should cut down on (social media) and which websites we should visit more often (Wikipedia).

We need to collectively optimize how we use this tool and once we do, the results will be mind blowing.

Know that we are blessed with this tool, ensure that you get the best out of it, which can only be done by learning how to use it right.

-ChoubeySahab

Feeling the guilt.

Do you ever get this guilty feeling for something that you’ve not directly committed but indirectly you are a part of why things went wrong.

I felt exactly this yesterday when one of my distant friend, who is presently preparing for 10th boards texted me telling me that one of his close friend committed suicide because of low marks and parental pressure for doing well.

When he told me this, the next thought was- another one down. The thought next to that was of guilt, I felt like a culprit. Why is this system still standing? because we are quite about it. Why are so many lives still being lost everyday? because we choose to be mum about the matter.

I never felt responsible for someone’s demise as much as yesterday. It was difficult for me to sleep at night. I know he is watching us from up there and wondering- ek do din royenge, chup ho jaenge, karna to kuch hai nahi. Because this is what we actually do.

We are selfish people who just care about our ownselves. We just care for our own people. For others we just show fake sympathy, right? But remember this can be your brother, sister, niece and someone you care for tomorrow if you don’t do anything about it.

Indian education system is claiming lives of innocent students and this needs to stop. The choice you have to make is- will you sit and wait until this system consumes your near and dear ones or will you act now.

Wake up! This is serious and needs to be dealt with right now. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- these are not suicides, but murders. You know the culprit, you and I are the culprit because we still let this INCOMPETENT TOTALLY SENSELESS SYSTEM still stand. Will you wake up after reading this or maybe wait for another life… Your choice.

-ChoubeySahab

It’s not about saving, it’s about spending it right.

Many of us believe that we should save money wherever and whenever possible. We should avoid buying anything that we can do without.

This thinking about money makes us bad at money decisions and not all of it is our fault, we were from the very beginning taught to save money and spend as little as possible.

If I give you an example to understand this. Imagine you have a very important meeting and you are running late. You ask for an auto but he is charging more than normal fare, so you don’t take the auto. As a result you end up arriving half an hour late for the meeting and your first impression is already spoiled.

In the above case, even though auto was charging more than than normal, but paying those extra bucks would have got this man to his destination in time. His first impression would not be spoiled. But in the moment, the man thought of saving those few pennies and lost this opportunity to do good in this important meeting. Because of arriving late, he keeps panicking and as a result isn’t able to give his best which makes the meeting a failure.

You see in this case, the man tries to save money but as a result loses a bigger opportunity. This is where most of us go wrong with money, we try to save money wherever possible without considering all the other factors.

The fact that he was running late and that it was an important meeting should have made the higher price justifiable. But he thought that the price was unfair and the autowala is trying to make a few extra bucks from him.

I agree, the price is unfair, but considering the other factors the man should have paid it. Most of us are like this man, we are hard wired to save money by our parents. Something that most us don’t know is how to value opportunities.

Opportunities are rare and have a higher value. Spending a few extra pennies would not be a bad idea to get hold of this opportunity.

This is just one case and there are countless others where we try to save money but end up losing more by letting off a good opportunity.

It’s not about saving money, it’s about spending it right.

The sooner you learn this, the better off you will be.

-ChoubeySahab

Internal vs external drive.

(250th micro blog)

We are all driven by something or the other. Some are driven internally while others are driven externally. Most are driven externally while few manage to learn how to drive themselves.

One thing that is for sure is we are driven by a purpose, this purpose can be ours or the society’s. Given how difficult it is to find ones role/purpose in the world, 90% people make the societal goal/ambition their own ambition.

This is how the external drive works, you pursue a goal/task because it helps the society run strong. A good example of this would be doing good in studies, by doing this you may/may not be moving towards your personal goals but you are definitely playing your part in mantaining order in society. You think that good marks are good because the society makes you believe it.

On the other hand, internal drive is the fire inside of you that wants you to get something so bad that at times it gets you to think and act in crazy ways. At times, the society may not approve of all one does because of internal drive. But the one internally driven doesn’t really care for what people on the outside think. This man thinks little about outside validation and does what seems right to fulfill a meaningful internal cause.

If you ask which is a better way to move forward- being externally driven by the society and it’s goals or by what cause we’re most moved by.

Both are good in their own ways but something that also needs to be noted is that both these have the potential to drive us to the wrong place. Like what’s collectively good for the society may not necessarily be good for us and what’s good for us may not help the society as a whole.

Like all things life, driving is a complex activity and when it comes to driving your own self, I don’t think we will ever become good enough at that. But nevermind, we keep hitting roadblocks and other cars at-times but at the end let’s hope we all reach our destination safe and just in time.

-ChoubeySahab

Subconscious spending.

A lot of things we do are because of our subconscious. We don’t logically think about each of the several things we do in the day. Our subconscious takes 90% of the decisions but we don’t realize it because it doesn’t require any thinking on our part.

Subconscious thinking becomes even more pronounced when it comes to spending or money decisions. Let’s take an example to understand subconscious spending.

Suppose you have locked yourself out of your house and it’s raining heavily outside. So you call the locksmith, and the locksmith opens the lock in a minutes time. Then you ask how much should you pay for it.

The locksmith, to your surprise, asks for 200 rupees for the work of a minute. You question him how’s a minutes work worth 200 bucks.

He explains that he’s been in the profession of locksmith for 15 years now. In the initial years he took an hour to fix a lock, at times he even broke the lock while fixing it. Even then he charged 200 rupees per lock and people happily paid without questioning. Because they saw him working hard and sweating for an hour. So they thought his effort was completely worth 200 rupees.

But now that he has become skilled and more proficient at his job of fixing locks quickly. His customers are reluctant to pay the same amount for the same work.

This is because our subconscious evaluates the worth of a job based on effort, not on the end result. If this locksmith had acted like working hard and took an hour to do the same job then there is a high probability that we would pay without questioning.

Is it logical to pay a higher amount for a job done in a longer period of time. No, it isn’t. But we make many such spending decisions everyday without realizing how far from logic they actually are.

Our subconscious plays a major role in decision making and yet we pay little attention to it.

-ChoubeySahab

Credit cards are bad for health.

When I first came to know the idea behind a credit card a few years ago, I was really fascinated by the concept. You buy anything you want right now without paying for it right now by using this plastic card.

It almost felt like we could buy things for free using a credit card. My father had multiple cards, so I once asked him if we can pay bill of one card using another card then when the bill of this card is due we use the first card to pay it’s bill. Thereby creating a cycle where we never have to pay anything. He started laughing to my question and said no it can’t happen this way.

One thing that my father always told me is to always prefer using cash instead of card. I never really understood the logic behind this. Cards are obviously more fancy and less cumbersome to use.

Now, finally I know the reason why he told me to not use the card over cash. I found my answer in psychology. A psychological study revealed that we overspend when we use card instead of cash. This is because, it gives us a feeling that the product is free, as we don’t have to pay for it now. We don’t feel the pain of parting with our money while using cards. On the other hand paying in cash makes us feel the pain of parting with money, because for cash we have to count notes and give it to the seller after which our wallet feels lighter, which is not the case in cards- the weight of wallet before and after payment remains the same. Hence, psychologically making us feel that we didn’t pay anything.

Also, cards are more convenient, no counting for change and getting toffee instead of change problems. Here again like other things we prefer convenience but as a result end up spending more than usual.

The prospect of paying at the month end is itself encouraging you to spend more, you feel of by then I would get my salary. No big deal, I’ll pay for all this then.

If all this logic doesn’t deter you from using credit cards. Then at least agree to the “Say no to Plastics” policy, trust me it will do you and your financial health a world of good.

The best financial advice you’ll ever receive is to use cash instead of card whenever possible. The question is will you prefer inconvenience to save money?

-ChoubeySahab

Pursuit without perspective.

We are in constant pursuit. Pursuit of a good college, or maybe a good job, or if I put it generally we seek happiness. We run after happiness because we feel getting those goals will get us happiness.

Not knowing that when we get to that dream job, we would start chasing promotion. It is clear that this chase/pursuit doesn’t stop. It goes on.

The problem here is that it considerably affects the quality of life we live. Which is because in all this running behind our goals we lack perspective. We are in constant pursuit without perspective of what’s really going on.

If I try to put it in simpler terms, we constantly run towards our goal but little are we thinking about the time that’s passing while this pursuit is on. Little do we acknowledge what we already have because obviously tomorrow we’ll have more and even more the day after that.

But one thing that you may never get in future is the feeling of not having enough. The feeling of not buying something because it doesn’t fall in your budget. Success is glamorous and all but it is also the lack of limitations. Success is the lack of constraints.

In this pursuit we forget that what we have now is also valuable and can get lost once we get successful. Successful people have the least friends, because most befriend them for their benefit. Few genuinely care.

In this constant pursuit of getting successful and happier, we forget that all these are just different experiences in the game of Life. Then why should we not enjoy the experience we already have, experience of normal people. It is the experience that the successful are deprived of.

See things through a different lens. A lens where nothing is better or worse just different experiences and enjoy each one of them to the full. Not being enough is one of them. Not being rich is one of them. Not being healthy is one of them. Not doing good in life is also one of them. Try to live all these experiences to the full because tomorrow you may get a different experience and then your present experience will become your past experience. Make it a good memory.

-ChoubeySahab

Confronting emotions.

This is something that requires a lot of effort to do. I mostly avoid confronting my emotions. When I’m sad, I don’t want to be told that I’m sad. I just want to be as I’m.

I avoid coming face to face with my true emotions. Because according to me if I avoid these emotions then I don’t have to deal with these emotions. This avoiding confrontation has come to new level when I borrowed a book from my friend on emotional intelligence (who himself had not read it) in order to be able to face my emotions and deal with them effectively. I borrowed a total of 3 books and I’m presently reading the 2nd book while having read one already. But guess what, I’vent read the one on emotional intelligence yet and am planning not to read it at all.

When I think about it, I obviously want better emotional intelligence but that would require me to read that book which would want me to confront my emotions, something I am really scared to do.

I unfollow all insta profiles which post emotional quotes and all that stuff because in my view emotions fuck you up totally. Emotions fade your rational thinking ability.

I am really bad at emotional intelligence. My EQ is lower than most and I totally acknowledge it. I am emotionally vulnerable and won’t confront any shitty emotions.

I think this needed to be talked about in the public domain. Many of us are emotionally vulnerable. Many of us don’t want to deal with it. This one is for you, you are not alone.

-ChoubeySahab