What occupies you.

In today’s age, we are all busy and noone has time for anything. But what is also true is that most of us aren’t getting anywhere by doing what we are doing.

There is a problem here. Even though we all are busy but results don’t come according to us. We are not able to be productive despite being occupied with something or the other all day long.

This is why it is extremely important to take note of what occupies you and your time. We rarely pay attention to how we spend our time but if we do, we will notice a lot of it is on crap.

There are basically 2 kinds of things you do:

1. The things you just do without thinking about the time consumed

2. The things which need to be done

The former includes Instagram, listening to music, binging on Netflix, watch tv. You don’t realize it but most of the time you spend doing all of this is wasted. You don’t feel bad about this because you were entertained but there was a cost. The cost of your time.

The second one- the things which need to be done comprises the project to be completed, the test to be preparing for, writing emails, completing on a coarse. These things bring you closer to your goal but they are not fun. So you procastinate on these.

Here you see, we unknowingly let the unimportant things occupy us and then then we complain about not getting anywhere.

This can be fixed. You just need to take a good hard look at what occupies your time throughout a day and replace the unimportant with the important.

This is not as easy as it sounds but this is the only it can be done.

Your mind is an empty vessel, be careful what you fill it up with- the important or the unimportant.

-ChoubeySahab

Is religion bad ?

With so many conflicts arising because of religion. It is time we ask this question to ourselves- is religion bad ? If it is then should we do away from it or does it have any upsides as well.

On one side, religion is used to divide people of a country, especially at the time of elections. Parties try to favor the religion with majority population to get more votes. “Mandir vahin bnaenge” is another example of this, imagine if this was a Muslim dominant country then would the mandir still be such an important issue. Of course not.

On the other side, the motive of religion is to bind many people together. The Hindu religion binds so many people within itself. This would not be possible if there was no religion. We would have little in common with others and more detached from how the society functions. Religion binds and organises us together with the help of stories which the people of a religion commonly believe.

Now that we know the downsides and upsides of religion. Let’s come back to the point- Is religion bad ?

The answer is it’s partially bad and partially good. We are more aware of the bad than good because the bad gets reported in news while the good isn’t reported anywhere.

Should we do away from religion ?

No we should not. Rather we should try being at peace with good and bad of religion while trying to amplify the good and minimize the bad.

Religion is one big phenomenon this world is standing on. Removing it may trigger an irreversible fall.

-ChoubeySahab

Intangible reality.

There are 2 types of realities:-

1. The tangible world around us.

2. The intangible world around us.

The tangible world comprises of the trees, people, buildings around us. The things which we can see through naked eyes.

Then comes the intangible realities. These exist only in our collective imagination. This comprises of stories and idea, which can’t be seen but can be propagated though written or spoken word.

Which reality do you think is more important for us? Living without any one-tangible or intangible would be almost impossible for us. That being said, our intangible reality makes us the best species on the planet.

Every other species has a tangible reality. The trees, other members of the species, other species and building are there for an ant the same way as it is for a lion or a homo sapiens.

Something that sets us apart, is our intangible reality. The things which can’t be seen but propagated through stories. Religion, law, nation states, rights, duties- all these are example of our intangible reality.

Intangible reality does not comprise of real things but text, written on a paper or simply believed in through word of mouth.

We were able to start collaborating in large numbers because of these intangible realities. We function together for the stories and ideas we believe in together.

The intangible reality was made possible because of our sophisticated language. Other species also communicate using their language but their language is not as developed as ours and can only be used to convey short messages.

The only reason for the big gap between us and the next best species is the ability to communicate better. With internet of things coming up in which machines start to communicate each other and intelligently performan actions based on it. If machines start communicating better than we do then possibly the only advantage we have over others be taken away.

Let’s hope it doesn’t happen.

-ChoubeySahab

The opposite of right.

We all have our own set of beliefs. We percieve something as right or wrong based on our past knowledge and beliefs but does that mean the opposite of what you think as right has to be wrong.

Not necessarily, actually we rarely take the time to analyse the what logic backs the things that we think are not right.

Everything that we think of as wrong in today’s age also has a reason/logic. Though this reason may seem silly to you but it doesn’t for the people pursuing the wrong. This is because their knowledge and upbringing is very different from yours. Maybe they never had access to good education. Maybe they were taught to earn money whichever way possible.

These people can be called criminals, terrorists but they also have a silly reason for doing what they are doing. Religion is a big reason behind terrorism, we all know it’s silly, but it still is a reason. We can’t assume that what we think of right is assumed as right by everyone else also.

That should not be the case because if everyone had the same opinion about everything then this world would be a lot boring place to live.

The opposite of right is wrong for us but not for everyone and that’s what makes this world fun to live in.

-ChoubeySahab

Why can’t one live in isolation?

Firstly, what is isolation? It is a state where an individual is not dependent on anyone and can accomplish all on his own.

It is a known fact that we are all dependent on different people for different things. We just can’t function independently.

But why is that so? Why do the acts of other people affect me?

Let’s take the example of a cricket match. Your team has to chase down a target of 340 runs in 300 balls. You are in exceptional form and hit a century but the other batsmen of your team are struggling. They are playing rash shots to come close to the target and getting out. As a result even after a sturdy knock from you, your team loses.

You see, even though you gave your best, that still wasn’t enough. This is because you are dependent on how other players play in your team.

Same is with life, you try to accomplish all your goals on your own hardwork, you just can’t. You have to make good friends and connections to help you get there. All these people around you will determine where you end up.

I recently did a blog on why parents are important. It is because our growth is dependent on them.

Functioning in isolation isn’t possible because we are dependent from the second we were born. The people around you ensured your clothing, your food, your everything.

All of us grew up dependent, hence noone really knows to how to function in isolation.

Whatever we do impacts our environment and vice versa is also true.

Functioning in isolation is a dream, a dream that possibly won’t ever become reality.

-ChoubeySahab

Take it easy.

The thing about life is it’s a series of ups and downs. What leads you to success is not how to perform during the ups but how you deal with the downs.

Dealing with the downs is not easy at all. There’s just one way you can do this, that is to take it easy. Do the most important things, the things which have to be done but don’t take up anything new during these bad phases. Give yourself some time to figure things out and understand the whole situation.

Understand how this phase could have been avoided, now how to deal with it in the best possible way.

It’s like you are a video player, in which there are multiple buttons. A button to fast forward, one to slow it down and one to pause the video. The only way to understand the complicated video (life) is to use these 3 buttons at the right time.

When you are understanding everything, you fast forward it. When not understanding, slow it down or maybe even pause it.

You’d say but life doesn’t have a pause button.

It does, it’s just not easy to press.

Learn to press this pause button and you would have learnt the most important skill to make life easy.

-ChoubeySahab

Paradox of wants.

We are wanting / greedy people. We always want something or the other. The problem here is our wants keep moving higher as we achieve the things which we wanted to achieve.

For example, you want a car, so you take up a loan and buy a car. You are extremely elated on buying the car and go around the city showing off your new car. Then you realize that everyone has a car and it’s not a big deal. So now you are just ok about owning this car.

Now, you think that maybe owning a house will be a good idea. You again take up debt to buy a house and are happy for 2-3 days after which reality hits you and you realize that oh even owning a house isn’t a big deal.

You move your wants even higher, maybe a world tour would be the right thing to do.

Now, you see what’s happening here. You achieve something and get happy about it for a while but soon this happiness is turned into greed for something else. The point is we all want to get things and we value all these things very highly until we actually have them.

Traveling to work in your own car feels more amazing before you own a car. But after owning a car, it’s just normal.

This is the paradox of wants, we value things until we have them, once we have them the value decreases at a fierce rate and we shift our greed to something else.

This paradox of wants keeps us perpetually unhappy and unsatisfied.

Happiness lies in what you already have because once you didn’t have that and we’re craving for it. Look around and count all you’ve got that most are deprived of and start feeling happy about those things.

Happiness is a choice. Break the paradox and be happy with what you’ve got.

-ChoubeySahab

What do I want to be?

This is the question I get asked often and I’m sure same would be the case with you. Do I want to be the richest man in the world? No please.

Do I want to be the happiest? Again no.

No because if I’m the happiest then that means everyone else is less happy than me. I don’t want that. I want to be able to find happiness in others’ happiness.

Even today I toddler’s smile makes happier than a big achievement. But getting back to the question. What do I want to be?

I want to be a person who gone through a roller coaster ride in which there were ups and downs. I want to be a person who remembers the worst when at his best and the best when at a worst.

I don’t want all the happiness in the world. I want the right blend of happiness and sorrows. Till now I’m amazed by how well God has managed to do this.

I want you to be happier than me and tell me your happy story which in turn would make me happy too.

Here’s my one line answer:

I want to be a person who is happy in others happiness and sad for others sadness.

Right now, I’m happy for you as you are reading this.

-ChoubeySahab

Equilibrium.

Firstly, what is equilibrium? The right balance between 2 things is equilibrium. There are different kinds of equilibrium.

Here we are talking about the equilibrium between what the society wants from us and what we wish for ourselves. We need to strike the right balance between them to live an easy-going life.

But this equilibrium between the society and us is not easy to achieve. We all want to do things our way but the society limits us. It tells us what can be done and what can’t be done.

This gives rise to social groups which fight for societal change. Like the feminist group is trying to get the society to accept a more liberal and powerful woman. Then there are other groups which are fighting to get the backward classes to be given equal status in a society.

All of this is done to get to the equilibrium between society and us. The only 2 ways of getting there are:

1. Moulding ourselves to how the society wants us to be.

2. Changing what the society expects from us.

The first is easy as it requires no revolting or fighting whatsoever. While the second method requires a lot of effort because changing societal mindset is not easy.

It’s convenient to say we should do what we want. The reality is we have to comply with the societal rules up to some level. We are looking for this equilibrium.

Whichever method we use to get there, I just hope we get there soon.

-ChoubeySahab

Parents are important.

Obviously parents are important. But you don’t know how important. The person you are is because of the environment you’ve been in all your life and your parents make up a majority of this environment.

If your parents are loving and caring then you’re lucky but if you have conflicting parents then that would reflect on your personality. If you’ve fun loving parents then you’’d also most likely be fun loving.

Your parents essentially shape you up. They determine if you should play it safe or take risk. If your parents question every decision of yours and try to force their own on you, then it is most likely that they are killing initiative in you. Setting you up for taking orders all life without questioning.

Then there is this other kind (rare) of parents who listen you out and try to understand why you want what you want. Then they make a decision on if you should be given a go ahead or not. They don’t force their decision on you. This fosters a quality of reasoning in the child and even taking ownership.

I believe a person born to a wrong set of parents is much worse than being born to a poor family.

I for instance am lucky to have the kind of parents I have. They question me on whatever I do but then let me do it if they see logic behind it. I’ve made some big decisions around my life and my parents had my back all through it.

This has made me into a person who isn’t afraid to take risks and won’t regret anything. Even if I fail I have no one to blame but myself.

But if I succeed a huge chunk of credit would go to my parents. If they didn’t let me take the risk then this would never happen.

-ChoubeySahab